That dreaded V-WORD

I'm totally stuffing my face like a pig right now. But it's ok because I don't think you can overeat on veggies and chicken, right? That's pretty much all I've eaten today, and I'm totally alright with that. I'm slowly learning to be completely satisfied with generally healthy stuff. If you learn how to cook it, even veggies can be good...even enhance a plain old salad!

See, I think there is a pretty solid stigma against vegetables, but let's face it, today's veggies aren't your grandma's 50's housewife veggies. When I talk about eating my greens, I don't mean that I'm shoveling in a bowl of green peas alongside a scoop of mashed potatoes and a slab of meatloaf. You can make eating the dreaded "v-word" fun...and I don't mean that v-word, though it does come with it's own fair share of critiques on taste and texture. But that's a topic I won't touch on, because well...I'm not qualified to share an opinion on the matter.

One vegetable I've been particularly partial to lately is squash. Ew...squash. Right? Wrong! It's gooooood. Not serving in up like the squash you add brown sugar and marshmallows to on Turkey Day. This is a savory dish with sauteed veggies and chicken. It would be great without chicken, even, but I'm not a vegetarian and I need to get my protein because of all that exercising. This one is a winner and can easily be tweaked to be Asian or Mexican inspired depending on the spices you toss on it.



Spaghetti Squash Sauté
(Serves 4)

[ ingredients ]
1 spaghetti squash
10 mini bell peppers
1 package cleaned and sliced mushrooms
3 c. shredded chicken
1 tbsp. olive oil
2 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. black pepper

[ directions ]
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut squash lengthwise, brush insides of squash well with olive oil and place face down on a baking sheet. Bake 45 minutes. Scrape inside of the squash with a fork to loosen the spaghetti-like fibers. Place four equal portions onto four plates. Top with warm shredded chicken.

Slice bell peppers lengthwise after removing seeds. Sauté sliced bell peppers and mushrooms in the remaining olive oil with garlic and pepper until tender. Divide into four equal portions and top the squash and chicken with the veggies. For a more Asian flair, add soy sauce. For a more Mexican flair, sauté veggies with 1/2 tsp. cumin and 1/2 tsp. chili powder instead of black pepper. Enjoy!

 Cheesy Broccoli & Chicken Salad
(serves 1)

[ ingredients ]
1 c. Spring Mix
1/2 c. Steamed Broccoli
3/4 c. Shredded Chicken
1/4 c. Shredded Monterrey Jack Cheese
1/4 tsp. black pepper

[ directions ]
Place spring mix on a plate, topping with warm chicken and broccoli. Sprinkle with cheese.

Easy peasy and oh, so good!

Break Free from Breakfast Boredom!

Breakfast. They say it's the most important meal of the day, yet we find ourselves feeding our families junk from brightly colored boxes that are loaded with sugar. I used to think that I could give my kids something a bit more wholesome by buying the packets of oatmeal, but if you are a label reader, you'll find that they're also in the "not good" category. Coming up with some better options for my family has been a huge priority in the last few years, as I've dealt with my own health issues, food sensitivities, and sugar addiction. 

When I create my recipes, I try to incorporate as many food groups as I can in order to pack as much wholesome deliciousness as possible into each bite. A little fruit, some healthy fats and carbs can give you the energy boost you need first thing in the morning. Make a side of eggs or Shakeology for an added serving of protein, if you can! I have two fantastic recipes to share that should make your taste buds do a little happy dance.

Cranberry-Pear Bake 

(serves 2)

[ ingredients ]

2 pears, sliced (any kind)

2 tbsp. dried cranberries

2 tbsp. chopped pecans

1 tsp. cinnamon

1 tsp. maple syrup

[ directions ]

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 

Slice pears and place in a baking dish. 

Top with cranberries and pecans, 

then add maple syrup and cinnamon. 

Bake for 15 minutes or until pears are tender.

Quick Cranberry Almond Oats
(serves 1)

[ ingredients ] 

1/2 c. rolled oats

1/2 c. water

1 tbsp. dried cranberries

1 tbsp. sliced almonds

1 tsp. ground flax

1 tsp. maple syrup

[ directions ]

Combine oats and water, microwave for 1 minute. 

Stir in flax, top with almonds, cranberries, and maple syrup. 

Sometimes I mix this recipe up by changing out the fruit. A few substitution suggestions are:

Blueberry Almond with chia
Banana Walnut with flax

Apple-Cinnamon Pecan with flax

Mango-Coconut with chia

Don't want to use maple syrup? Try agave nectar for a different flavor, or coconut palm sugar.
You have so many options to choose from, and you'll still get your family out the door fast on a busy weekday morning. 

Mango Twist Muffins

This old family favorite was due for a makeover, and that's just what I did. Not only did I give the flavor a change-up, I healthified it (a little bit), too. If you've never tried replacing vegetable oil with unsweetened applesauce, it's a 1:1 ratio and works like a charm. This recipe could be even healthier by replacing the all purpose flour with almond flour and the sugar with coconut palm sugar and reducing the salt! These muffins freeze great, too, so you can pull them out the night before to thaw, or pop them in the microwave for a quick before school breakfast during the week.

Mango Twist Muffins

(makes 45 standard size muffins)

[ ingredients ] 

4 c. all purpose flour

2 1/2 c. sugar

5 tsp. baking powder

4 tsp. cinnamon

1 tsp. sea salt

6 eggs

1 c. coconut oil, melted

1 c. unsweetened applesauce

4 tsp. vanilla

2 1/2 c. grated carrots

1 c. chopped pecans

3/4 c. unsweetened coconut flakes

1 can (15oz) diced mangos in water (no sugar added), drained

Sugar in the raw, for topping (if desired)

[ directions ]

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Prepare muffin pans by placing muffin papers into the pan.

Place carrots in a food processor and pulse until finely chopped. Combine all dry ingredients in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, mix 6 eggs, coconut oil, applesauce and vanilla.  Once combined, add carrots, pecans, and coconut. Once thoroughly mixed, fold in mangos gently. 

Scoop muffin batter into each muffin paper until about 3/4 full. Sprinkle sugar in the raw over the top of each muffin for a crispy finished product, if desired. Bake 20-25 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Enjoy! 

Blood Poisoning

You know the saying "blood is thicker than water"? It implies that our loyalties should be directed toward our families. But, what if one of your family members gives you an ultimatum to choose sides them and another family member? What if the family member forcing a decision on you is your own toxic parent?

I am a fiercely loyal person and I love hard. I mean hard. Unless you are a disrespectful, condescending, arrogant, egocentric, name-calling narcissist sperm donor. Then, I got nothing for ya. I spent my entire life trying to please my father. I vied for his attention, but nothing I ever did was good enough. As a child, I was a "goddamn dummy" when I made a mistake. I was only offered his time at his convenience. His hobbies came before his own children. Once he told my step-mom who disclosed to me that my dad said he had always thought I would be the successful child. Because my brother got into a 6-figure career and I'm a daycare provider raising a family as a single mom, I've seen no success in my life? It's all about the big fat dollar sign.

Sadly, I don't have any vivid memories of a single actual fun moment shared between us from my childhood. I always felt like my mom was forcing a relationship between us, and after they divorced when I was in college, that relationship because even more distant. To this day, he only contacts me out of obligation to arrange holiday get-togethers or birthdays. I do not hear from him at all in the off months. He lives an hour away and he never asks to visit, doesn't want to talk to or see his granddaughters. There is no monetary gain in him spending time with us, so it's just not on his to-do list.

I recently asked him about purchasing his used vehicle when he trades it in for a brand new vehicle as he does every two years or so. He told me the trade-in value was $28-29,000 and that I should look into seeing what kind of loan I can get for $29k. He won't even give his own daughter a break. I didn't ask for one, but it's clear that he's out to get every last penny he can in life. He's going to die alone, with a pocket full of change.


Recently his estranged brother died. His brother has only one heir, my younger cousin, who is like a sister to me. She is the only person who really gets me -- understands my family affairs, my genetics, my personality, and my personal struggles. She has them, too. I love her dearly and would do anything for her, as I know she would for me. She has seen me through some of the darkest moments of my life...knows every last secret. Does not judge me, loves me unconditionally. She's my ride or die. Back to the point here...my dad and his sister knew that their brother had died for a whole week before they told my cousin. They didn't inform her about his death until they realized they'd need to pay almost $1,000 to retrieve his body from the morgue in Arizona, cremate and ship it back to Minnesota. He had medical bills, rented storage units, among other personal affects that needed tending to. He insisted that she be in charge of handling his estate, and so she has, alone, with no one there to help her. She's spent the last month with his ashes, finally getting to spend time with the father who abused and then abandoned her. She needs closure, but she's had no time to grieve. She is a 30 year old single mother and has put about $5,000 into dealing with his estate, and suddenly my father wants to take over, now that everything has been handled. He planned a funeral without her consent, when she was planning a life celebration to take place around his birthday in March. She was going to separate out the ashes in a creative way and give them to the people her dad was close to. She had a plan of action, and they so disrespectfully went behind her back, planned a funeral, and didn't even make sure she and her daughter can attend. They can't.

When he asked if I was going to attend, I said no...that I would attend the service my cousin was planning when the ashes would actually be buried. It was at this point I was offered an ultimatum and I quote: "You just crossed the line here. Better choose what side of the fence you'll be on!". This sickens me. He proceeded to call her a lying little shit, that she has a smartass mouth, then told me I was just like her. Told me to go be happy without my real family. I guess wishing for my family to be able to come to a compromise over the death of a family member is too much to ask. All my cousin wants is to find peace in her father's death, and it's not unlike my family to cause drama when they fear they won't have control over the situation. Or the card box. At the last funeral there was a divide because money was stolen from the card box by one or more of the siblings.

I just. CAN'T live like this, with these toxic people poisoning my life. I've been through enough. I've done it with little support from my family. I've had only a few supporters in my life, one of them being my mom. I'm thankful for the family I do have, but it's clear that love is conditional. It's a matter of convenience. I won't expose my children to this toxicity, or teach them that this is how we treat others. It's sad that my dad is choosing to behave this way...I didn't really even touch on the nasty things he's said to me, and I'm not going to. I'm not even surprised by his behavior, so much so that I didn't even shed a tear when he told me to take a flying leap. Maybe I'm just relieved that the tension I've been feeling for so long has been released, and now I can just move forward with my life. Those who choose to be involved in it are welcome with open, loving arms. And I'm happy this way. My life is grand, with or without him. Can't you see how incredible my life is?

It's not pretty, but it's fixable

You ever experience a funk? Where nothing you do feels right, nothing seems to be working, nothing just goes off without a hitch. You're constantly questioning yourself and whether you're good enough, whether you're doing the right things for the right reasons. 

My ex used to frequently call me "Captain of the Fail Boat", because I was obviously incompetent, incapable, immature, and worthless. Yes, I was told those things, and though I have come light years from where I started, those hurtful words stuck to me like glue. When I go through periods of "failure", in my own eyes, I get really down on myself and revert back to being a victim. It's another one of those PTSD reactions to years of being emotionally beaten down. If I'm in a bad mood, I'll look at myself with disgust. 

I will pick apart my body image, body shame, put myself down...negative self-talk comes spewing from my mouth like verbal diarrhea. 

Do I know this is wrong? Of course I do! Am I always this way? Obviously not. Most of the time I'm secure with myself and content with the person I am. I thrive on growth, though, and when I get down on myself the best thing I can do is pick up a personal development book and read to reset my frame of mind. A favorite is You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero. She has a way of putting life into perspective.

I have been in a funk lately. I know why, but I'm not sure how to change it. It began with a lupus flare that won't quit, and I let myself go. I was so exhausted with trying to fight the flare, stay on top of my daycare business (12 kids this summer....I was tired), plus trying to be the best health and fitness motivator I could be, all while starting a new an exhilarating relationship with the most amazing and wonderful man I've ever met, and his son. It happened so fast. I was blindsided with the love of my life and had an insta-family. I'm so incredibly happy, but I had no time to adjust. A new way of life smacked me in the face overnight. I tried, but there is no slowing down something that is just so organic and natural. I was on cloud nine.

Yet I couldn't keep myself motivated. That fact right there...that fucked - is still fucking - with my head. 

I keep asking myself, "How can I be an effective coach if I can't even keep myself on track? I'm not practicing what I preach. I suck at life. I'm a failure. I. CAN'T. DO. THIS." But the truth is, I'm a fucking human. I'm not perfect. I have hurdles, just like the rest of you. I'm a work in progress, and that will always hold true. Because I'm not ok with being stagnant. Grow or die. So...am I good at what I do? YES! I'm a great coach when I can dedicate my time to others. I have a knack for helping people. It's kinda my thing. 

I'm currently mediating with my ex. We have put off pulling the trigger on the "big D" (get your mind out of the gutter, you dirty fools!) for many reasons, the important ones being:

1. time
2. finances

We needed time to step back from the mess we made of our lives to heal. We needed space from each other to cool down, to let our kids adjust to our separation. We just needed to be apart, for their sake. For our sake. It is outrageous how much it costs to hire an attorney to go through the divorce process. Tens of thousands of dollars on average. Financially we are not in a position to do that. We knew we needed to mediate, but time was of the essence. We are finally in a good place where we can sit down together and discuss our separate futures maturely, with our daughters' best interest in mind. This alone has taken a huge toll on me in the last few months, and I finally feel at ease now that the process is rolling. A few more months and I will be able to officially move on with my life, and that load of bricks will fall away from my shoulders.


What does stress do to us? Terrible things, that's what. I'm an emotional eater. These last few stress filled months have sent me into an emotional eating downward spiral. I gained 15 pounds, and I'm not proud of it. But that's my point. We all experience times in our lives when we fail to take care of ourselves due to external circumstances, or by personal choice. 

It's not pretty, but it's fixable. 

And that's exactly what I intend to do. It will be a slow process, but I will take the necessary steps to fix my body, mind and soul. My heart is already being tended to...I feel love daily and I know what happiness is. But I will feel at home when all of those areas are aligned. What can you do to align the areas of your life? Take notes, right down your long term goals, immediate goals, and the steps it will take to get there. Recognize what makes you sad, angry, anxious, elated, content. Once you know those things, you're on the path to true self-discovery and happiness. Self awareness is a pretty incredible thing.

Honey Chipotle Pork Tacos

Anyone who knows me knows how much I adore Latin-inspired food, as well as the fact that tacos are a staple in my life. Tacos aren't just for Tuesdays! I've tried tacos made with beef, chicken, pork, shrimp, and fish...every restaurant puts its own flair on their recipes. I've tried so many I can't even choose a favorite. They all have such a different appeal, and I'd like to think I can create recipes that appeal to everyone's taste buds, too! In the near future, I plan to fine tune my Latin-inspired recipes for you. 

If you've been reading my blog at all, you know it was "pork week" last week. I cooked a pork loin in the crock pot and used the pork in my own different original recipes all week long. The final recipe (and quite possibly the best) was this:

Honey Chipotle Pork Tacos (makes 4 servings)

[ For the Pork ]

3 c. pulled pork

4 tsp. honey

2 tsp. chili powder

1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper

1 tsp. garlic powder

[ For the Broccoli Slaw ]

2 c. bagged broccoli slaw

4 tbsp. cilantro

2 tsp. garlic powder

1/4 tsp. black pepper

2 tsp. Red Wine Vinegar

4 tsp. Extra Virgin Olive Oil

8 tsp. pico de gallo

1 avocado, cut into small chunks

8 corn tortillas

[ directions ]

Place shredded pork in a small pan on medium heat. Add honey, chili powder, cayenne and garlic. Once thoroughly mixed, reduce heat to low.

In a large bowl, add broccoli slaw, cilantro, red wine vinegar and oil. Mix well. Then add spices and mix again. Let sit while you cut avocado into small pieces

Portion out 3/4 c. pork and split between two warm corn tortillas. Top each taco with about 1/4 c. slaw mixture, 2 tsp. pico de gallo and avocado. Enjoy!

It's not about the cards you're dealt....it's how you play them.

It's not about the cards you're dealt....it's how you play them. I've been dealt a rough hand in life, but if you look at it the right way, you always have a winning hand. I've had to tell myself many times that the deck is not stacked against me.

For instance, today was not the best kind of day. It started with me having a bad hair day. I knew that the day would a tough one if I couldn't do anything to tame my hair. This is another story in itself. I didn't have time to drink my coffee before I walked the kids to the bus stop. They made it on time, so that's a positive.

This morning really kicked off with me taking Sophia to her dreaded orthopedist appointment. See, she was dealt some cards...some may say it's not the best hand...but I look at it as just a little mosquito bite in life. Deal with the itch while it's scratching and wait for the next one. When she was 6 months old, she was diagnosed with Hip Dysplasia. Our family practitioner discovered a click while doing a hip rotation check during her well child check up. We tried wearing the brace at night, but she kept us all up with fits of tears every night for so long...and it was making little difference. She wanted to be normal so badly that she would pretend she wasn't even wearing it. She even learned how to walk in it!

For the last 5 years she has been monitored every year or two, and thankfully her hip sockets are rounding out and her bones are growing properly. She was also diagnosed at a later date with Femoral Anteversion (more info here: 
http://www.childrenshospital.org/conditions-and-treatments/conditions/femoral-anteversion/symptoms-and-causes) which will require surgery to correct if it doesn't correct itself within the next few visits. The doctor assured me that surgery isn't a certainty, but it is a possibility. Sophia made little to no progress in self correction of this problem in the last two years. The thought of having my baby's thigh bones sawed through, rotated and then put back together is less than thrilling, to say the least. It breaks my heart to think about my beautiful, sunny, charming Sophia going through something so traumatic. However, this disorder can cause physical pain as an adult, so I don't see how this is even up for discussion. You just do what you have to do for your child.


Today the doctor let her run up and down the halls so he could get a better look at her gait. (I slowed down the video so you can get a better idea of what it looks like when she runs...her legs tend to flail out to the side a bit). She thought she was so cool, showing her doctor how fast she could run. It was so freaking awesome watching her that proud and happy. After that she demonstrated all her favorite yoga moves on the examination table, including downward dog, upward dog, child's pose, and warrior 2. PROUD MOM! We've been working on those moves together...doing yoga is one of the things that helps us both gain strength and control over our body, and we love spending one on one yoga time.

There is only so much truth to the phrase "you have complete control over your life". Nope, you just simply don't. I would never have chosen this life for my daughter. But that's the hand we were dealt. That doesn't mean we're going to let it dictate how we live our lives. We don't dwell on the fact that she may have lifelong issues because of the way she was born. Honestly, we don't even think about it until it's time for that every other year appointment at Gillette. Her diagnosis doesn't define her, nor does my diagnosis with Lupus define me. Nor does the fact that my oldest daughter Anna is missing 4 adult teeth in the front of her mouth. We let those things define us as much as we let Taryn's curly hair define her. We are NOT the things that happen to us. We are who we want to be. It's true, we only have so much to work with in our lives...but that's just a starting point for what we can become. It's all about seeing the bigger picture. Self-awareness. Having a clear vision of what our potential is. Sophia might still "W sit", and she might walk with a slight pigeon-toe, but she is fast as fuck when she runs. Her little legs will leave you choking on her dust. 

The takeaway: Don't let yourself get caught up in things that are out of your control. Work with what you have and do your damn best. The only thing getting in the way of reaching your goals is your own doubt.

Life Hacks and Proud Mama Moments

As moms, we all know how difficult day-to-day tasks can be with a child. Let's level up to downright traumatic, if you have multiple children like a lady such as myself. Oh hey, let's get your chores done real quick so you can spend the rest of the evening goofing off! Anyone tried that method and have it blow up in your face? Me. I swear I've tried every tactic known to man to get my kids to listen to instruction and follow through in a TIMELY fashion. Why don't kids have that same sense of urgency when it comes to completing tasks? I mean, come on...logic.

The biggest task for me has always been reminding my kids of what needs to be done. As a daycare provider, my house frequently appears as if a tornado has blown through. They get just as overwhelmed with the daunting tasks as I do. Telling them to "clean up" is about as useful as telling them to find their way to China. They don't know where to begin.

The first step in solving this was to make a list of kid-friendly chores that they could easily do without me having to helicopter parent. I don't have time to oversee everything, so it was imperative that I can trust them to do the tasks correctly or with little help. I'd tried chore charts in the past, but they always went ignored or forgotten, gathering dust just like everything else in the house. I needed a bartering tool...something to get them excited about helping. So I sat down thought really hard about it, and I came up with a genius Life Hack for this single mama. It was like I was given an "easy" button.

Once I had my list written, I broke it down between my three daughters, giving my 6 year old the easier jobs, my 9 and 11 year olds split the more difficult tasks. I tried as hard as I could to make equal amounts of chores every day to avoid complaining....cause I can't afford to supply enough cheese for all that whine.

The concept: Each child has a relatively equal opportunity to earn a sizable allowance with this method. You can see on the chart below that the chores are color coded so that each child is easily able to see which chores are their responsibility. When the child completes a chore for that day, they write their initials on the chart so that I can see it's been done. They also write their name on a circle, which then gets put into a jar. At the end of each month, I count up all the circles and pay out their allowance at 25¢ per circle. It usually ends up being about $5 per kid on average for the whole month. After the end of the month, the circles all get emptied into yet another jar, which will earn them a family activity of their choice when the jar is full. They also know that they aren't allowed any electronics usage until their daily chores are done. Thank you, Animal Jam, for being a mom's best friend! It has been the best bartering tool (and biggest pain in the ass!) I've ever come across.












Enter the "Family Chores" chart. The genius behind this chart is that I only have to print one copy, thus saving the trees, saving on ink, and saving me time. This chore chart hangs in a glass frame because - SURPRISE! - it's dry erasable! I used 3M Command Poster Strips to securely hang the chart in a low spot so that even my 6 year old can reach it to write her initials down whenever she completes a chore.

The dry erase markers are set near the edge of the counter and directly across from the chart so that it's all easily accessible to the kids, so they don't lose focus on the way from the chore to the chart. You may laugh, but distraction is a huge issue in my house, so I've taken to combating that in any way possible.

You can see in the left photo just above, the smaller uncovered jar is the jar holding the "family activity" circles. We've been collecting them for two months now and it's still not full. On the bright side, I think that a family activity on a quarterly basis (above and beyond our norm), isn't a bad deal! We're a pretty active family, always on the go, doing fun things, going places. So whatever they choose is bound to be extraordinary. Extraordinarily fun! And honestly, I'm looking forward to rewarding them for their diligence and hard work. Positive reinforcement works so much better than punishment for wrongdoing. Finding healthy ways to support our little ones with come back to us parents in so many ways! 

Life Hacks and Proud Mama Moments

As moms, we all know how difficult day-to-day tasks can be with a child. Let's level up to downright traumatic, if you have multiple children like a lady such as myself. Oh hey, let's get your chores done real quick so you can spend the rest of the evening goofing off! Anyone tried that method and have it blow up in your face? Me. I swear I've tried every tactic known to man to get my kids to listen to instruction and follow through in a TIMELY fashion. Why don't kids have that same sense of urgency when it comes to completing tasks? I mean, come on...logic.

The biggest task for me has always been reminding my kids of what needs to be done. As a daycare provider, my house frequently appears as if a tornado has blown through. They get just as overwhelmed with the daunting tasks as I do. Telling them to "clean up" is about as useful as telling them to find their way to China. They don't know where to begin.

The first step in solving this was to make a list of kid-friendly chores that they could easily do without me having to helicopter parent. I don't have time to oversee everything, so it was imperative that I can trust them to do the tasks correctly or with little help. I'd tried chore charts in the past, but they always went ignored or forgotten, gathering dust just like everything else in the house. I needed a bartering tool...something to get them excited about helping. So I sat down thought really hard about it, and I came up with a genius Life Hack for this single mama. It was like I was given an "easy" button.

Once I had my list written, I broke it down between my three daughters, giving my 6 year old the easier jobs, my 9 and 11 year olds split the more difficult tasks. I tried as hard as I could to make equal amounts of chores every day to avoid complaining....cause I can't afford to supply enough cheese for all that whine.

The concept: Each child has a relatively equal opportunity to earn a sizable allowance with this method. You can see on the chart below that the chores are color coded so that each child is easily able to see which chores are their responsibility. When the child completes a chore for that day, they write their initials on the chart so that I can see it's been done. They also write their name on a circle, which then gets put into a jar. At the end of each month, I count up all the circles and pay out their allowance at 25¢ per circle. It usually ends up being about $5 per kid on average for the whole month. After the end of the month, the circles all get emptied into yet another jar, which will earn them a family activity of their choice when the jar is full. They also know that they aren't allowed any electronics usage until their daily chores are done. Thank you, Animal Jam, for being a mom's best friend! It has been the best bartering tool (and biggest pain in the ass!) I've ever come across.






























Enter the "Family Chores" chart. The genius behind this chart is that I only have to print one copy, thus saving the trees, saving on ink, and saving me time. This chore chart hangs in a glass frame because - SURPRISE! - it's dry erasable! I used 3M Command Poster Strips to securely hang the chart in a low spot so that even my 6 year old can reach it to write her initials down whenever she completes a chore.

The dry erase markers are set near the edge of the counter and directly across from the chart so that it's all easily accessible to the kids, so they don't lose focus on the way from the chore to the chart. You may laugh, but distraction is a huge issue in my house, so I've taken to combating that in any way possible.

You can see in the left photo just above, the smaller uncovered jar is the jar holding the "family activity" circles. We've been collecting them for two months now and it's still not full. On the bright side, I think that a family activity on a quarterly basis (above and beyond our norm), isn't a bad deal! We're a pretty active family, always on the go, doing fun things, going places. So whatever they choose is bound to be extraordinary. Extraordinarily fun! And honestly, I'm looking forward to rewarding them for their diligence and hard work. Positive reinforcement works so much better than punishment for wrongdoing. Finding healthy ways to support our little ones with come back to us parents in so many ways! 

Maple Pecan Open-Faced Pulled Pork Sandwich

Pork: I'm here all week! I made this giant pork loin in the crock-pot on Monday, and all week I'm trying a new recipe with the same base: pork. I'm having a blast experimenting with it, too. Who'd a thunk I'd grow up to be a kitchen scientist, considering my grades in Mr. Brand's high school chemistry class?! Yeah, D+, I remember you...I also remember forging my parents signature on that specific test. Guess I cracked my halo at a young age. Survival of the fittest....I'm still alive.

High school science aside, this recipe was a surprising hit for me, with a nice sweet touch. I really do enjoy a nice play on sweet and savory (my new discovery are these peanut butter balls with pretzels inside them made by Skippy peanut butter...) and this really kind of reminded me of a holiday dish because of the addition of pecans and maple syrup. PS...if you've never added nutmeg to your fruit salads, you're missing out. It takes the boring out of the same old produce!


Maple Pecan Open-Faced Pulled Pork Sandwich + Blueberry Spinach Salad (one serving)



[ ingredients ]
3/4 c. pulled pork
1 slice wheat bread
1 c. baby spinach
1/2 c. green grapes, sliced
1/2 c. blueberries
1 tsp. 100% pure maple syrup
1 tbsp. chopped pecans
1/8 tsp. nutmeg


[ directions ]
Cook pork loin on low for 10 hours. Take 3/4 c. pork and stir in maple syrup and pecans. Let sit while you prep the remaining ingredients. Lightly toast wheat bread, then layer about 1/2 c. spinach on top, using the remaining spinach for a side salad. Top the toast with the pork mixture, and the salad with the sliced grapes and blueberries. Top the salad with a sprinkle of nutmeg.

Happy Eating!

Banana-Oat Protein Pancakes...Two Ways!

Not to brag, but I've had some pretty rave reviews on my pancakes lately, and I think it's because I've been adding a few secret ingredients that no one expects in their average pancake. But, this all makes sense to me, because Fatness Everlean, armed with bow and fork, is not your basic chick. She's quick witted and it's survival of the fittest in her real-life Hunger Games.

Tyler, aka Pizza McFart, got 3 wisdom teeth pulled on Monday and has been miserable ever since. He's strayed from his normal diet of zillions of grams of protein per day to not being able to eat much of anything due to the pain of dental trauma. I made it my mission last night to make sure my guy got a full belly before bedtime. While trying to eat just soft food, but satisfying the need for a high protein diet, we opted for "brinner". That's breakfast for dinner, in case you didn't catch on to my word slur. (Get used to it...I tend to do that from time to time). I've made an alternate version of this recipe that was a winner for more than a dozen 9 year old girls, so I feel like this pancake recipe has gotten the seal of approval and is safe to share. Which is why you're getting a two-fer. Both recipe are to die for, if you're looking for a protein-packed, fluffy pancake.

Vanilla-Cinnamon Banana-Oat Protein Pancakes

1 c. Complete Buttermilk Pancake Mix (I use Market Pantry, 'cause pinching pennies!)

1 scoop Vanilla Shakeology (protein powder)

1/2 c. Rolled Oats

1 ripe banana, mashed

1 tsp. Cinnamon

1 3/4 c. Water (or to texture)

In a large bowl, mix together pancake mix, shakeology, oats and cinnamon. In a separate bowl, mash ripe banana with a fork. Add banana and water and whisk thoroughly. Heat griddle or pan to medium-high heat and coat with cooking spray or coconut oil. Using 1/4 cup, scoop pancake batter onto griddle.Flip pancakes when you see bubbles forming in the batter, or when golden brown.

Makes approximately 12 pancakes.

Chocolate Banana-Oat Protein Pancakes

1 c. Complete Buttermilk Pancake Mix (I use Market Pantry, 'cause pinching pennies!)

1 scoop Chocolate Shakeology (protein powder)

1/2 c. Rolled Oats

1 ripe banana, mashed

1 3/4 c. Water (or to texture)

In a large bowl, mix together pancake mix, shakeology, and oats. In a separate bowl, mash ripe banana with a fork. Add banana and water and whisk thoroughly. Heat griddle or pan to medium-high heat and coat with cooking spray or coconut oil. Using 1/4 cup, scoop pancake batter onto griddle. Flip pancakes when you see bubbles forming in the batter, or when golden brown.

Makes approximately 12 pancakes.

Apparently Pizza McFart had been starving himself all day, because I made a double batch of these pancakes and he wolfed down 11 himself. I had even made a pizza for the kids, and they ditched the pizza for the pancakes. There were three left over. Safe to say they're a hot item in my household. I also love that my kids are getting an extra dose of protein (and super-healthy antioxidants, pre and probiotics, vitamins and minerals, etc.), because they're not big meat-eaters and I find it hard to make sure they're getting a balanced diet. And we suck at taking vitamins.

Not sure how to get your hands on a bag of Shakeology? Ask me! 

(I'll give you the details about my coach discount, too!)

Or, order here: myshakeology.com/fighttoflourish

Happy Eating!

Autumn-Inspired Lunch!

My wheels are always turning, and with the change of the season comes a series of new seasonal recipes that I absolutely must try, or create! I tend to try to keep my lunches on the lighter side, so today I got creative with the leftover pork loin I made in the crock-pot the other day and threw together a tasty autumn-inspired wrap.

This wrap took almost no time to prep, since the cooking was taken out of the equation the other day. I love crock-pot cooking because I can whip out an entire meal (or just a whole lotta meat!) in very little time, and feed my family with it several times throughout the week.


Apple-Cranberry Shredded Pork Wrap
(1 serving)

[ ingredients ] 
3/4 c. Shredded Pork
1 whole grain flatbread
1/2 c. romaine lettuce
1 medium green apple
1 tbsp. dried cranberries
1 tbsp. chopped pecans
1/2 tsp. cinnamon

[ directions ]
Measure out shredded pork and warm to desired temperature. Place on flatbread. Slice green apple, chopping half of the slices into small pieces. Add apples, romaine lettuce, and cranberries. Roll tightly. Use the remaining half apple slices as a side, sprinkled with cinnamon and pecans. 


The pork loin I used was a Hormel 27.2oz loin, cooked on low for 10 hours, seasoned with Mrs. Dash Garlic and Herb seasoning. It couldn't have been easier to make, and even easier to eat! I guarantee you won't be disappointed with this light, crisp dish.

Please, if you make any of my recipes, drop me a note with a review! I'd love your opinions. Thanks for reading! <3 p="">

My dirty food secret is....

...that I'm a closet eater.

Sigh. 

I do eat clean a majority of the time. Honestly. You see the recipes I post...those are all my homemade concoctions that I've come up with on my own. I care a LOT about my health, my mental and physical well being. Which makes me feel even more guilty about sneaking into the kitchen and eating foods with a high sugar content. You know this is a real problem for you if you're watching your back while you're shoving food into your mouth, eating it so fast so that you don't get caught, so fast that you're not even able to enjoy it.

"I wouldn't want my kids or my boyfriend to see me eating this nasty junk, so I better do it fast. And maybe have a couple more real quick while they're not looking, just in case I don't get a chance to sneak back later...". 

But then I do sneak back later. That's some real heavy shit right there. Like maybe borderline eating disorder kind of stuff. If I'm feeling guilty after eating it, there is a problem. That's an unhealthy food relationship. It's always been a struggle, even when I was young. I have an obvious love-hate relationship with food, and I'm seeing it with so much more clarity now. I don't act like this every day. Not even like half of the week. But it's a big problem for me for a number of reasons.

1. I want to lose weight. I want to lose 30 more pounds to get down to my goal weight. This is a ballpark number...I don't believe that the number matters all that much because it has a lot more to do with how you feel in your own skin, mentally, how your clothes fit, etc. I also believe that the actual number has a way of fucking with our heads. It's just a damn number people! Stop obsessing over it! If you look good, feel good, love your body, eat clean, work out, who cares what the scale says? Regardless of my rant, I am NOT happy in my skin just yet. I've gained back some weight and I feel miserable about it. So, time to cut that shit out and make some changes.

2. Heath concerns. Autoimmune disease. I have Lupus, which affects my joints, my digestion, my soft tissues and mucus membranes. I have chronic fatigue. My muscles are tight and stiff. I wake up nearly in tears almost every night, unable to flip over or shift my body due to pain in my hips. I am now too stiff to work out first thing in the morning, and if I do, my workout is less than half-assed. Depression. Anxiety. Hypothyroidism. Endometriosis. Not gonna get into that, because it would require a story of its own. But it's there and it's an issue.

3. I don't want to be dependent on anything, ever. Not sugar, not the medications I have to take to control my health issues. I want to live free and healthy and happy without feeling tied down to something tangible. I can't necessarily control some of those things...I can't make lupus or hypothyroidism go away by eating healthier, but I can control the symptoms. I've already made great strides in weaning off my anti-depressants and feel good about going off of them by the end of the year. (#goalsetting) I am IN CONTROL of how I feel, and eating healthy makes me feel good. Sugar makes me feel good, too, for about as long as it is in my mouth. Then poof! Now I'm a pile of shit.

Take back the power that you know you have and use it to do better for yourself. I tell myself that allllll the time. I need to be able to practice what I preach. For me. And someday I truly, honestly will.

That sweet tooth, tho....

I admittedly have the worst sweet tooth known to man. I have a pretty great diet from a nutritional standpoint, with the exception of my constant need for sugar in any form. As hard as I try to completely cut the umbilical cord, sugar is still clinging to me like a baby spider monkey that I can't seem to shake. I know I need to quit. I have no real excuse, and frankly, it's embarrassing that I can have my life together in all aspects other than this.

I work out 5-7 days a week, I buy wholesome ingredients so that I stay on track with healthy meals. I make separate, extra-super-duper-healthy meals for myself and portion them out in advance so I can see that meal sitting there in the fridge, staring back at me when I feed my kids mac & cheese and pizza! But somehow I'll find myself stuffing sugary cereal into my face when I'm making their breakfast, or indulging in their graham crackers with nutella for snack. It was ok to eat that when I was 10. But now I'm 35, and it doesn't sit on my ass the same as it used to. 

In all of that sugar-avoidance misery, I have found one true solace. Chocolate Shakeology. In bold writing, because finding it was a very bold turning point in my life. At the time I decided to try Shakeology, I admit I found the price a bit daunting. Everyone does. It's not until you actually try and use it regularly that you realize it's true value. For me, it's this:

1. I'm not a huge meat eater. Only in small quantities, therefore I get bored trying to squeeze in enough protein on a daily basis. In one scoop of Shakeology, I get 34% of my daily protein requirements. Did I mention chocolate?

2. Veggies. While I love many types of veggies, I don't crave them as I do with other foods. Making sure I get them is a priority and one salad per day is enough for this girl. In just one glass of Shakeology, I'm getting $40 worth of fruits, veggies and superfoods into my diet. Plus the protein, and over 20 vitamins and minerals. And that's a very vague description, but if you want to get into ingredients, visit myshakeology.com/fighttoflourish for more details.

3. It's versatile! There are so many recipes out there for baked goodies, snacks, protein bars, cookies, etc. made with Shakeology. It's a great way to "healthify" something that could otherwise be pretty nasty for you, especially if it's a pre-packaged snack made in a factory. Eating clean may not come easy or natural to most of us because our society lives for convenience, quickness, and simplicity. We can't stand if something takes time or might requires some real attention. Which leads me to my next point.

4. It's easy and portable. It takes about 2 minutes to whip up a shake (I like mine mixed with ice and 25 calorie unsweetened cashew milk, plus a half banana and PB2). Pour it into my shaker cup and I'm off! On nights I'm running with the kids and tempted to make unhealthy choices, it's my go-to dinner.

Back to my original point...eating healthy can still be tasty. I decided to get creative today and make myself a little treat for tonight for after my intense leg workout at the gym. How do I know it will be intense if I haven't worked out yet? Well, because I'm badass and I don't do it any other way! Right?! Chocolate Shakeology pudding is going to replenish and repair some of the muscle protein that is broken down during an intense workout. 

Chocolate Chia Pudding

1 scoop Chocolate Shakeology

8 oz. Unsweetened Cashew Milk

1 tsp. 100% Pure Maple Syrup

2 tbsp. Chia Seeds

1 tbsp. Arrowroot Powder

1 tbsp. Unsweetened Shredded Coconut*

Whisk together shakeology, cashew milk, maple syrup, and arrowroot powder. Once thoroughly combined, mix in chia seeds and let sit for 20 minutes at room temperature. Move to refrigerator and chill for minimum of one hour. Top with fruit of your choice and coconut. Serve chilled.

*For the coconut haters out there, substitute with chopped nuts 

Now if that isn't a healthy way to kick a sweet tooth to the curb, I don't know what is. Please, if you try this recipe, I'd love your reviews. 

I see dead people....

....nah I'm just kidding. But I DO have a ghost in my house. Oh, you think I'm kidding? I love to joke. But I am not joking about this. Since May, things have been a little off around here. I don't feel threatened, and I'm not the least bit concerned. Definitely feeling a little more than annoyed at this spirit who is continually fucking with me.

There is a rack that hangs just inside my bedroom door with three pegs on it. I hang my necklaces and baseball caps on it and rarely take anything off of the rack. It is mainly untouched. Back in May, on a regular old weekday, I had laid down one of my daycare kids for a nap in that room. His crib was across the room with no access to the shelf. When I got him up from nap, the shelf was in tact and in its place. I closed the door behind me and didn't open it again until I went to bed that night. The girls were staying at their dad's for the night, and I spent the evening running errands and at the gym. When I opened the door to go to bed that night, the shelf was on the floor, all of the necklaces and hats sprawled out. The nails that the rack hang from were still in place. No explanation.

A few days later, I woke up to find the two razors that hang from suction cups in the shower on the bathtub floor. Both of the contraptions that hang the razors were still suctioned cupped to the wall. It's as if they just jumped forward from where they hung and launched themselves onto the floor. No explanation.

It was during this same week that I noticed some orbs of light next to me in one of the fitness progress pics I took. I had just cleaned the mirror, so there was definitely no chance that it was a spot on the mirror mimicking an orb.

After this, an entire brand new jar of peanut butter went missing, then reappeared a whole month later. I had went grocery shopping with Anna, my oldest, while the other two were with their dad for the night. I don't eat that peanut butter...only the kids do. My daughter has NO reason to hide a jar of peanut butter to trick me, despite popular opinion. It's her damn peanut butter! We looked in the Durango, under the seats, behind the seats, in every room of the house, including the playroom. The basement. Every. Single. Room. Then, a month later, I walked into the kitchen around 10:30am thinking about what I'd be serving my daycare kids for lunch, and what did I find? A jar of peanut butter. Laying on it's side in the middle of the kitchen floor. I looked inside the cupboard where we keep the peanut butter, and there was already a jar in there, mostly gone. (I replaced the missing jar two days later) The jar I picked up off the floor was brand new. The seal had never been broken. So...where had this jar been hiding for a month? How did it just appear as easily as it had disappeared? And why now? Was I a little freak out? Yes. Puzzled? Yes. To say the least. I grilled my kids about that peanut butter, demanded an answer. Then Anna reminded me that I sent her out looking for it in the car and through the house. If she took it, she sure as hell wouldn't have helped me look. She's too lazy for that.

About a month after that, as I had one of my daycare kids laying on a changing mat on the floor, a canvas picture just fell off the wall from above me. Thank goodness for my cat-like reflexes, because I caught it before I landed on me or the kid I was changing. Nothing like getting knocked out by a flying piece of art.

Another month or two later, as I'm sitting on the bed in my room talking with Tyler, we hear a crash. The kids were in their rooms settling in for bedtime...no one in the hallway. The mirror that hangs on the wall there leapt from it's home and shattered on the hall floor. All by itself.

This week on Tuesday, I was home alone in bed. One cat was sitting on the window sill in my room, and the other laying on the floor just outside the door. The door was open, he was visible to me and he didn't move a muscle. But I swear to God, I heard my front door open and close. I thought maybe I forgot to lock it and the wind blew it open as it sometimes does, because it doesn't latch correctly. Or that Tyler decided to surprise me and show up unexpectedly. Nope. Neither of those were true. I got up to investigate and the door...was locked. No one was there, it was never opened. But I know what I heard.

Friday night while doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen, we were discussing the reason I keep the cards that accompanied the flowers he's sent me. I keep stuff like that because when I come across them, it makes me smile. It brings light to my day. It reminds me of how much we love each other, and how lucky I am to have a man in my life who cares so much that he'd do anything to see me smile. I had found them earlier that day and taped them to the upper cabinet in the kitchen so I can see them all the time, which is how the conversation started in the first place. We were gone all day watching Leo play football, then visiting my brother at his new house. We got home exhausted, took a nap, went to the gym. After the gym, I noticed ONE of the two cards I had hung were missing. Nowhere to be found. Not on the counter, not in any of the cabinets, on the floor, in the sink. NOWHERE. How da fuck? I don't understand how something like that can just disappear. This is not funny. It's not a game, at least not to me. I wasn't too upset when the mirror broke and I had to clean up the shards of glass, or when the shelf fell on the floor. Not even when I thought someone was inside my house. But you mess with my sentiments, and I get lit. Fired up. I'm sure Tyler got a silent giggle out of me yelling at a ghost to return my card. I asked them politely to put it back while I was sleeping...but they didn't listen. It's still missing. But I have faith that it will turn up eventually.

Anyone have the phone number for Ghostbusters?

What is happy, anyway?

This morning I sat on the sidewalk as I often do watching my kids walk to their bus stop and noticed the crickets were still happily chirping in the tall weeds in the garden surrounding my tree. Yeah, yeah, I know. I weeded them once this summer...is that not enough? I suddenly realized that life is about what is happening right now in this moment. Every moment is significant in some way, to someone. The crickets were chirping because they need to chirp. The kids were walking to the bus because they needed to learn stuff. I was sitting there on the sidewalk with my coffee because, well, responsible adulting requires me to make sure my kids don't play hooky.

But, as I sat there, I realized I could be using my time more efficiently. Instead of just drinking my coffee, I thought it would be the perfect time to reflect on the day before, and make a note of what I wanted to do better today. This entire silent conversation was prompted by the book I'm currently reading, The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin.

The basis of the book is, in the pursuit of happiness, to write a list of resolutions (there were 12) and to tackle all of them, one per month, over the course of the year. I'm still early in the book, but so far have covered Boosting Energy and Remembering Love. My takeaways from each of these chapters has been this: If we take care of ourselves both mentally and physically (getting enough sleep, reducing stress, etc.), and spend more time being intentionally nice to the people we love, we will in turn find more happiness. 

Some of the methods that stuck out to me were decluttering the space we live and work in to
1. reduce that overwhelming feeling of needed to clean
2. focus on true, important tasks at hand
3. eliminate the need for material things to make us happy -- yes, even the things with sentimental value.

I have already begun what I'm going to call "The Great Purge". I started today by decluttering the junk drawer in the kitchen.  It's the catch all for things that don't make it to their true homes, or crap that I just don't want to look at anymore. I also started picking through some toys in the playroom that don't seem to get any use, and next...tackling the girls' rooms....gulp! This is no small task. I will be involving them directly in the decision making process on what stays and what goes. Ultimately, they will have to think about how often they use the item, what value it holds, and whether or not it still fits into their current trend or on their bodies.

I've already been consciously working on being a nicer person...for a long time. While I do spend a lot of time working on my own happiness, I spend a good amount of time making sure others have what they need to lead happy and productive lives, too. It's a proven fact that happy people are more successful, easier to be around, and are perceived as more confident, personable and even physically attractive. It benefits you and everyone around you to make it your personal mission to be happy. Trust me, people DO notice that change. My immediate goal is to speak more tenderly, show more love, maintain standards but lower expectations.

I'd be happy to recommend some great personal development books to anyone looking to sprinkle some happy on their life. The world will thank you.

Doomed

I knew this day was bound to be a doozy when a mosquito started snacking on my ass first thing this morning. Parts of my life are utterly perfect, and others seem to be in a slump. I know that it's normal to have peaks and valleys in any aspect of life, but that doesn't make dealing with them any easier. The problem is that when the little things start falling apart and feel a loss of control, I get overwhelmed and my PTSD kicks in. I start pushing back on the people I care about. This isn't something I have control over. It's like anxiety in a way that it's completely irrational and comes on unexpectedly. Sometimes there are teensy little, practically unnoticeable signs that I don't even pick up on...and I will usually deny that anything is even wrong until "the big push" happens. BAM! There it is. 

PSA: If a conversation ever presents itself to you with very little tact, it's probably because I'm pushing. I'm either feeling anxious or worried about something, or scared, and I don't know how to deal with it. All bets are off at this point, and once the fire dies down, I find myself having to back track to smother those embers that are now still burning in someone else's mind. It doesn't help matters that I'm stubborn by nature and like to have the last word, another area of self-improvement.

PTSD symptoms are real. Even for people who have never been in the military. It's a very real and potentially devastating thing, and it affects a lot of people. Women are highly prone to it, and it's been noted that the menstrual cycle can even affect the anxiety, fear and phobia reactions to PTSD. 

I know for certain that I have pushed on several of my close friends, my family, people who mean the world to me. If you are one of those people, please know that I love you...that hurting you is not my intention, and that I'm still working on myself. Every. Single. Day. I made a vow to myself three years ago that I would never stop trying to be the best person I can be. No matter what it takes, I will continue to make self improvements. Sometimes I focus more on my personal life, my values, my self-concept, and other times I feel the need to shift my focus to my physical health. All are equally important. Most notably, I'm making a conscious effort every day to surround myself with positivity, to be grateful and appreciative of the gifts I've been blessed with, and to find happiness even in the darkest times. Sometimes even taking a quiet moment to just be one with your surroundings make all the difference. If you let your kid use your phone while they wait for the bus, they might even catch you in a rare moment of calm.

If you open the blinds, the sun will shine in. Let it shine.

Mom brain got me like...

I could have killed a kid this weekend. (I'll get back to this) I somehow always manage to set myself up for a load of stress, and when I do, something will always happen to exacerbate the pain. Never. Fails. This time, it was me thinking it would be a smart idea to take on hosting not one, but THREE parties in one weekend. (I should maybe just get it over with and scrawl the words "stoopid" on my forehead in black sharpie...)

Starting mid-week I began shopping and prepping for these parties, which I honestly intended to be low-key. The baker and amateur chef in me likes to wow people with a nice spread of goodies to snack on while they enjoy each other's company. It was a little comical to see the 8 different recipes taped to my cabinets, but it was thoroughly satisfying to snatch one down throughout the week and put it back in the giant three ring binder I use to house my many foodie inspirations. Yes, I made 8 different things between two parties, not including three varieties of taquitos (veggie, chicken and veggie, and chicken and cheese) or the awesome popcorn production during the slumber party! I'm not sure how many batches we (ok, so Tyler was the popcorn chef) made for 14 kids.

Friday after work I took the kids and made one last Target run to get what we needed for the parties. For some reason my car wouldn't turn correctly. In my frazzled rush to get shit done, I didn't bother to actually investigate. I just drove to my destination, bitched that my car was breaking down and stressed over the thought of the repair bill. On the way home, Sophia asked me to roll down her window, and as I did, I heard something crack. She was pushing down on the window as it went down, and yes, you guessed it. The window wouldn't effing roll back up. My first thought was "am I going to be one of those people who have to drive around with a tarp duct taped to the window?!". Then I remember I used my last tarp to dispose of that last dead body. Naw, but really. It was was going to rain. And it did. With my window open alllll night long. The next day, my buddy Joel came to look at my car problems. The window does need a part, but it's easily fixed and he was able to zip tie the window up so that the inside is no longer rained on. But get this: my vehicle was NOT broken after all. One of my ridiculous children flipped the 4 wheel drive switch, and that is why it was hard to turn my damn wheel. Yes, I feel like a total idiot. Thankfully Joel knows all my worst stories, so him laughing at me over this didn't sting too bad. The takeaway: Take a deep breath...count to ten...assess the situation fully before you flip out. I'll do better next time.

On that note, my Perfectly Posh party went on to be a success. If you're curious about the company I can direct you to my consultant for more info! My daughter Taryn's 9th birthday...well, I survived. Between the ice cream sundae dropped face down on the floor, the entire jar of sprinkles dumped on the cupcakes, the cat chasing, the dropping of the toys down the laundry chute, the ongoing game of "Charlie Charlie, Are You There?", the late night whooping it up on the front lawn during the fireworks...I wasn't so sure I would. But, Tyler was my rock, my sanity. I love so many things about him, but most of all it's his cool-as-a-cucumber attitude in almost every situation. 

Even with 14 kids, (13 of them little girls) he didn't hesitate to hang with me and make sure the party went smoothly. For the first time in my life, I realize I have a partner! This is phenomenal. Exhausted from a half a week of prep, then hosting the two parties, I was ready for bed. Unfortunately the kids weren't. I think we were lucky to have them quiet by midnight. The morning after we teamed up for a big breakfast of banana pancakes and scrambled eggs. Aside from a few kids shooting Redi-whip into their mouths, the morning went on without any speed bumps.

My mom's surprise 60th birthday party at Cowboy Jack's in Woodbury was a huge success. She was so overwhelmed with happiness that she ugly-cried in front of her 20 guests. That's the best I could have asked for.

I'm treating myself to a much overdue pedicure tonight to thank myself for being an amazing friend, mom and daughter this weekend. If you haven't tooted your own horn lately, you should. Because you deserve it. Unless you don't...In that case go do something nice for someone else. It'll make you feel good. 

Recently I've started feeling the need to write again. It's always been the best way for me to get things off my chest. Once I logged back into my account, I began reading old posts. I'm astounded with some of the vivid detail in which I described my pitiful life. It was utterly heartbreaking to read my own sad, helpless words.

Looking back from the pretty f*cking happy place I currently reside in, I realized that if I was going to blog again, I needed a fresh start. That was the old Leann. The new Leann is real and raw...a badass woman who doesn't let things keep her from her goals. The new Leann is content, grateful, experienced, driven and compassionate. This Leann has lived a nightmare, but is moving toward a dream.

This here is a PSA: If you don't like sailor talk, don't read my blog. If you don't like raw truth, bluntness, or sarcasm, this won't be for you. But if you enjoy witty banter, and down to earth reality thrown at you with some comedy sprinkled on top, then stay! I promise to entertain, as well as continue with my mission to improve my own life and in turn improve yours. Somehow, something I say or do will inspire or motivate you to make a positive change in your life. I will share my experience in life as single mom, with fitness, recipes, and somewhere within those realms you might find something that you can relate to.

I always welcome comments, questions, suggestions and the like. My entire being involves around relating to humankind. If you're human (or a cat...I do love cats) then speak up and give me something to ponder. Thanks for reading! :)