It's not about the cards you're dealt....it's how you play them.

It's not about the cards you're dealt....it's how you play them. I've been dealt a rough hand in life, but if you look at it the right way, you always have a winning hand. I've had to tell myself many times that the deck is not stacked against me.

For instance, today was not the best kind of day. It started with me having a bad hair day. I knew that the day would a tough one if I couldn't do anything to tame my hair. This is another story in itself. I didn't have time to drink my coffee before I walked the kids to the bus stop. They made it on time, so that's a positive.

This morning really kicked off with me taking Sophia to her dreaded orthopedist appointment. See, she was dealt some cards...some may say it's not the best hand...but I look at it as just a little mosquito bite in life. Deal with the itch while it's scratching and wait for the next one. When she was 6 months old, she was diagnosed with Hip Dysplasia. Our family practitioner discovered a click while doing a hip rotation check during her well child check up. We tried wearing the brace at night, but she kept us all up with fits of tears every night for so long...and it was making little difference. She wanted to be normal so badly that she would pretend she wasn't even wearing it. She even learned how to walk in it!

For the last 5 years she has been monitored every year or two, and thankfully her hip sockets are rounding out and her bones are growing properly. She was also diagnosed at a later date with Femoral Anteversion (more info here: 
http://www.childrenshospital.org/conditions-and-treatments/conditions/femoral-anteversion/symptoms-and-causes) which will require surgery to correct if it doesn't correct itself within the next few visits. The doctor assured me that surgery isn't a certainty, but it is a possibility. Sophia made little to no progress in self correction of this problem in the last two years. The thought of having my baby's thigh bones sawed through, rotated and then put back together is less than thrilling, to say the least. It breaks my heart to think about my beautiful, sunny, charming Sophia going through something so traumatic. However, this disorder can cause physical pain as an adult, so I don't see how this is even up for discussion. You just do what you have to do for your child.


Today the doctor let her run up and down the halls so he could get a better look at her gait. (I slowed down the video so you can get a better idea of what it looks like when she runs...her legs tend to flail out to the side a bit). She thought she was so cool, showing her doctor how fast she could run. It was so freaking awesome watching her that proud and happy. After that she demonstrated all her favorite yoga moves on the examination table, including downward dog, upward dog, child's pose, and warrior 2. PROUD MOM! We've been working on those moves together...doing yoga is one of the things that helps us both gain strength and control over our body, and we love spending one on one yoga time.

There is only so much truth to the phrase "you have complete control over your life". Nope, you just simply don't. I would never have chosen this life for my daughter. But that's the hand we were dealt. That doesn't mean we're going to let it dictate how we live our lives. We don't dwell on the fact that she may have lifelong issues because of the way she was born. Honestly, we don't even think about it until it's time for that every other year appointment at Gillette. Her diagnosis doesn't define her, nor does my diagnosis with Lupus define me. Nor does the fact that my oldest daughter Anna is missing 4 adult teeth in the front of her mouth. We let those things define us as much as we let Taryn's curly hair define her. We are NOT the things that happen to us. We are who we want to be. It's true, we only have so much to work with in our lives...but that's just a starting point for what we can become. It's all about seeing the bigger picture. Self-awareness. Having a clear vision of what our potential is. Sophia might still "W sit", and she might walk with a slight pigeon-toe, but she is fast as fuck when she runs. Her little legs will leave you choking on her dust. 

The takeaway: Don't let yourself get caught up in things that are out of your control. Work with what you have and do your damn best. The only thing getting in the way of reaching your goals is your own doubt.